A magical night (or six) with Morrissey

Guys, I love Morrissey. Maybe you think that I am referring to his awesome song-writing abilities and diligent work in upholding the tennets of latter-day dandyism. If so, you are wrong. But I will not keep you in suspense. No, I will come out and tell you right this very instant. It is because Morrissey is the most amazing person on earth.

He is like a caricature of a caricature. Or a superhero. Or something else fantastic that flits about the earth reuniting NY punk bands and looking suave. I honestly cannot understand why someone has not created a shitty Microsoft Paint picture of Morrissey wearing a top hat, smoking a pipe and drinking absinthe before. (Note: those are bubbles in his drink, not measles.) Seriously, this is a man who does promo shots of himself languishing over a fucking SUN DIAL and contemplating the ephemerality of all things. You don't even need the little thought bubble to guess that he is thinking of À la recherche du temps perdu and sighing a world-weary sigh.

Remember when Morrissey was questioned by the FBI because they considered him a "potential threat to national security"??? Or when he reunited the New York Dolls? What about when he refused to perform at a predesignated venue at SXSW '06 because he could smell the aroma of BBQ sauce wafting onto the stage and this offended his ultra PETA-y sensibilities and later he sat around talking shit about Ray Davies during his act? (The first two items are verifiably true--at least if you think Pitchfork is a verifiably true news source. The latter "facts" are pretty much hearsay that I reported as truth on the radio during a SXSW update. They are also much more impressive after you've been drunk for three days in a row.)

What amazing thing will Morrissey do next? Will he discover conclusive evidence that unicorns are real? Will he make people stop liking American Apparel? Perhaps he will just move into the Camden Roundhouse for six days and put his sparkling wit and debonair personality on display.

January!
21st London Roundhouse
22nd London Roundhouse
23rd London Roundhouse
25th London Roundhouse
26th London Roundhouse
27 London Roundhouse

Tickets are on sale coming Friday the 23rd of November.