Monday, 15 October 2007

Bats: good for what ails ye

Once, during a late afternoon session in the phone bank for a college radio fundraiser, some generous people kindly donated a huge, delicious platter of sushi. This was pretty late in the game; tension was high, tempers were quick, and I had run out of personality quizzes to take on the internet. Being the sort of unpredictable (some would say "unbalanced"), maverick coworker that I am, I decided that the best solution to our mid-fundraiser funk would be for me to see how much wasabi I could eat at one time. Now, this was a couple years ago, and I don't remember the exact size of the dollop I ingested, but I think it's safe to assume that it was somewhere around the size of a dime. Possibly a nickel.

The results were predictable. My sinuses flared up with a sensation comparable to the Yellowstone fires of 1988, the phones continued to not ring, and my coworkers were overwhelmed with a totally undue sense of admiration. Admittedly, this was a minor event in my long career of risktaking and daredevilry, yet it still holds a place in my memory. Why? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MY FUCKING FACE HAS FELT LIKE FOR THE PAST 12 TERRIBLE UNRELENTING HOURS. (Plus insomnia and runny nose!)

Like the Pet Shop Boys (featuring Dusty Springfield!) in their 1987 smash "What Have I Done to Deserve This?", I find myself asking

What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?
What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?

Seeing as how I finally drifted off to sleep around 8am and woke up some time around a healthy 2:49pm, my mind's a little bit misty, a little bit uninteresting, a little bit incapable of stringing together an even minimally exciting post about Nick Cave's new album. So here's 5 Fun Facts About Bats.

5 Fun Facts About Bats
or a poorly-conceived attempt at one of those "17 Days till the Best Holiday EVER!!!!!" posts

5. Bats are part of the species chiroptera, a Greek word meaning "hand wing". This is the best animal name EVER.

4. Unsure of what to get that special someone for the holiday season? Many people (me) say that a bat adoption is one of the best gifts they have ever received! For more information, check out the beauties at Bat World, Bat Conservation International, the Cornwall Bat Hospital or one of the more species-inclusive sites like the World Animal Foundation.

3. There are about 1,000 species of cute little winged friends around the globe. This number means that bats make up a quarter of all mammal species!

2. Baby bats are strong contenders for the most adorable creatures ever.

Best friends 4eva!!!!

1. Bats love to party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Kegstand time!!!!"

And as an added bonus, check this out. It's an origami website that shows you how to make bats!!! When I am an elderly woman living in my House of Cats, I will spend my days making these.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

THIS IS THE SAME PERSON AND I AM IN NORTH DAKOTA IN MINOT IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL, RAMSTAD AND THOUGH I MIGHT NOT SHOW IT HERE BUT I ABSLUTLY LOVE YOUR BATS AND BATS PICTURES !!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sergioarana said...

lol they look like chihuahuas dogs lol.